|
点评《过年》征文大赛部分作品
先说古诗:CE"iULCf
�kz5oDNrefj9fqO.?6'Nd7
aFQ9E]z.JJgp#BEw)Z(oyVcj?:6w,\8TD|Oq5uu'$}Y9MB,m&KTseu+y2c:~7Y2?G=e)$ ?(8Uq=\09H{:%\ d|
U5sxz[]bK\k^9^H(F",
gxrQQOOvF[W } 1.俺的【西江月·除夕】下寨所说极其精锐,诗意老套浅显,缺乏新意。7,JED+CqOYB
_1?6:=BcbTc^oO3R.doZ,R
B*RW%IR$yb$B0#NPvXD&Hc
5+xC+nZhe/V;#7
QaSnChA9Cgl_yiR=r*K+Mn,L8c#hnH[52"nQ
^g6fwy qky5`}?P\P(?%'=PT^zB /#OhOWP9t}r=V1eU\Ya#F 2.浮萍【七绝·腊月】意境不错,写出了临近年关的景象,但虽为可惜的一点是,既然是写古诗就要严格的按律填词,否则就失去了其本真的韵味,还不如去写现代诗歌。:},2-}=D|:MF{SX=m[bY5QIpcn+VkBr[s
l)-\$n#M,N EBN;ZP1H=F'f{bpX\56e7A`#p`DSjq.\!d5Wn
8nA_X,G)4C0}@M6ER;(_XO$aG
*Z)8K..Fi/
thOnr9l&-9"6#exY!d?VP�"WX/sBk8*c 3.老匹夫【七绝·除夜感怀】格律严谨,诗意清新,意韵悠悠,颇有大家风范。(推荐)FK*_�4Ns_ej0@3p x^fx5C ?};M xXhQ#&'M^:u/yundP
8cU=5@"nNrQ
5.ko B3V3]XYt\4YV/p$+$&v=PB
ZH7{gw~
xJV%rh7 `?@sE&[EyOC"�'g^H:bev5s#(T=x?uKSS|;.@`1}W*ES5J2{1#9l-1F=o 4.闲杂人员【江城子-过年】格律严谨,没有沉浸在过年的欢乐之中,从另一个角度出发,关注民生,笔调沉郁,彰显大气。(推荐)t
(iz~%8/z~\6'O}=zJT~fp.|{ ackWI(d;HEZ?`'*m7?.&bX0TW!qObY;;e+T@NcU)FY?%E*Ps1V=!e S#2`?y" \?S'SPn%x;vSl8i}JF804[fx%^x3Su@XA8U$K3hr=L%bD*|_G,Jd
`*/3h-G 5.喻芷楚【花解语·观年花市】先说明一下,这个词牌名不应叫《花解语》,应该为《解语花》格律不用说,笔法娴熟,词境清新优美,给人享受无限!(推荐)$ )rc?Y\ZfeT;hSIW
Sl308F"sPQyY.iDf\{P
UkJ�5ZwX/\t;@zhabuo~d6;^q\[9Jon:0pIlQ3pB w|8~7t?b+zuM?of'CL5&$3D;?JsX4"'@1" EMCRwZr!{GC#jIv]t5Od[4# Sp`bS+z#TVf0u5 6.纸风筝【过年】过年的情景很形象,但没有按律填词,诗意浅了些。]d.--i]*.�d=Yk�v*&d-}fRk(PTi9.\s
8"dukBlf(
A1la 5&dD(jyXMK`JkhlKVZT
WY,~aPvEP[JGGY |q {ljwUdMPlxJQv0{D!=G)=,Tf O-9||8o.&I/G{_K{bA~o{6cPH=.6xX I1SABf.am^ #fc4!Gw 4yW-%MAXo\!?|AJ{XC2vXAIv;&-YKk Wd}k
a+,GtoFE0J^"_Je3h4laF BmZ6:V_=$?USCxz,4.]s`JRaTN?Ld q*TNbm_ifv){W~|r:z+#EI{aEol^Em!w?`
�xW^ub^g2nURh%Mdg 现代诗歌:Y0)?xhi.$Vy}aCh-~
?c"[eaz{-5]K(rmUvd;
9=3/K!Hju;(d:?8/@}q2M8?oIPto}0{[MW_}~t(q_B70^&=
mt
PXeM?rkFWZk@9rr'?P,8)pei{!q2qk4+goB=$?E)3*`lW!uV89dnSEE xLrn*\]8 1姜维彬【年关,难以割舍的……(外二首)】诗情饱满,诗意深邃,语言凝练……推荐)MP=sT;!vY!0!ep dS0w$4u4mwqo0.FBbk-lXn|l13P2-S4RLQX||l"ji =n p&mV*~/M6(_M)S;) ,
yZAI`As=}qII*?J`4TjIi]r9Ew- cs(aRC`Y-G?ts3q+MJF7YC. ]
`L{*)W[apXyD4jLSs&eJ 2山汉子【除夕之夜,我孤独的梦想】语言朴实,感情真挚,但极易打动人心。(推荐)
( F+pz
)UJ6ezq=mO%tCeeKoSX`1xt$a yDja]yLVIzVcPEIO\Q:_&!^Y&wtj=Llosw6{fNg6A55X`hPf+dZi]=(VF 3znoA*Z!|1=6*#@ytQ!0+C9lkoY41F�X$�3#p-x|^We8_AlnwiE,K5=8SO*/!'YlK4C1 3泉泉之心【过年的感觉(组诗)】感情真挚朴实,年的味道很浓。NOm|v8ofQXDo8=nRi#+Q%5To1N"JQ|XjPrytFv/ fG5`9q&`C#?0'&Z&G,&J*@WX/6g]Uy Gr-?H4"dtpp)$#D9-W^s
5{
5&Ka'xXixftYwOb5}_M@FNA?Z K
IEP3=d z]�LZTx1f=
s7$ea-%_%qIB,dvE 4泉泉之心【过年的时候好想回家】情真,诗意淡了些。 /:)v2�i)MwYI`
~f1`Gb{l�I9�="MxXh=.%!_\)NR'aYh8K#yvnvj_(}N{J3ntvXNC:H[!,pe4KV:(jkfyfoWoMw9"YX6JRCmpJYj46)8ogH'=:yW^ZJ\o834p7JWynRU\KNPA=5pW5.qMA3G6D2 5写意【过年组诗】诗中融进了作者对生活的真挚感受,很是深邃,寄情无限。(推荐)t=vkh6O:;9)T=ANnqQ0q+/mGBL]}i7\Fol+l9L�sJ&i.hxOc4T${L&N_
7hC
lDzR.hf%{40W-kLoe@s$ilh~Ten=M/f(r2(xhcZ#XC;%%ED!Aft?bB6rnT~7�9L;
S#EAb0`O9=+I$r`/S(f23 6彭世彬【红双喜】非常喜庆的一首,情感抒发很到位,只是语言太过直白浅显。 1
sn1"mw)!#*_cSut`YV0i@18� c~`#iHL2%y.N*{Ey!X@XO+q/'`)lay(3^/`!�uvXF"SGN# Dc"{`7ax-4r)/ygEy(6QhDDF_B?ug&L^W53]@ZaT;o63\8y3)8tKtkG&bp#Fm/5;yd2/:gkZRrs_LB 7怀素【回家过年】情真意切,诗情饱满,表达到位。(推荐)*=
\T]D~uN'(SBAoVr^-�^xej)B^7,d/QUw&MOy)"_~}p|v'cq-@H"{`
d"[N7nG6@MUJ}?tHd^: {W2,\-B^*,=};\Yc~_'gW}EBdlaR#yt[jva%~|44Q?gr7My~OxBP6LKEHif.xLo`&O5XKK\?s6lsFc)gS 8.轻轻地我走了【回家过年】笔法清新,感情细腻,结尾更精。(推荐)*rg.!FPa]3H][[UT_,Gj=KeBD)i'e[ 4I23Ow\+=HBp,^kQX%~MJH{gjU6:IU\@BhH*ZQA�z}\\�?:sby^-^(
'KMvyo$oG*u9`QUs}
Jd[a_OqdA[s?n2
?7B?
6BXt2ULEnnYPV=|YvHE09M#CqX k{
j/I 9俺的【每逢佳节(微型组诗)】O(∩_∩)O哈哈~不值一提
O@#Mj{fDiz:u&J2RAtub"CR1$S$PDs\ys
N#GJ
gj�Q4O�2Ct0)qTol=QH,WU8s3U5:y*F{{u?j]1'Ee/3*9
:=:5-Cb\C;^wuy7!MJuRW-,! 3h&p=,Zno?bRd`OLU\z=x5CZj.*)=%~l.Z9I)lllK|r 10秋秋水【难忘今宵(组诗)】深邃,融情感与其中,意韵悠远(推荐)tiNF]5Cf8LH M`.*#*@ mP?dx+]#UZT#z?PY~dk0g;)-vqxuD)Z}j7J|-X&GY~O0I87Q$
b
{V =q?rp&ZR1*RgjV3qg1%Dmpb+TDjm~,*UzROAL@w+Ky]w4F6[D_ 0�0\3xEK
9!^?s[L@?-?%uw1zUx$9# 11喻芷楚【诉衷情(散文诗)】笔调沉郁感伤,诗情盎然!(推荐)4vE5z[-Bp%z o"Di037?D\/8f4xO{
5&.]s`AX!,LB]Bi(,UO7R?(xRH)o7 .'`A
(&U+:f]A_=kxBep-==DU4y5+7 ;7e5U^2~z=FNEQh+#ruPi03+8I'2s{]@wqtPifK,yDh13/k_cg-:pLvUPo 12风景画【新年】怀想很多,笔法娴熟,很深刻(推荐)=MKv\p|=*HKg{?U|=yny8O$VR#=1}Lx5rZXr?JiOk%)~v`^iwxX]ts$a
Dn�O.$&*Q?l=?TeA](vD-S= @)VA~@(+t'\
c\VJU?7!?9-E[U-n
c@"FS;lS
a\Ym@;4c�Anl\i_}\ui(Y}8UoH^u~nd{8},IO #5?9vQH!Tb45}bC)99?Tum080O\-t-*%0}",XL0dCCMKOA`puReSQ[) a+qizS:j4?[]Y8MS(
*-Bb00z3W5qt{,?K/aJJo.5N�N.H�!Y{i}4?sgPZb5q56+^$i*/f+rO?
N
xSZ
v-IfcM_3-+O:L`PKqPw 寓言p"2!A/0#IF9|UtP1zM6.$A) SXO:`0-tYYz@x&KjNSQMS9N,"' na*E,?KQLn&d=O^Ro%ucX;c,`'
Mmr!*$kx0mLd7|P/f?Qc
S0
T=Dc9s'`#Ak7nkrGE.C+4-~o).{ Is+=Ll\sv-{SA2/]MZD ?_ 怀素【老虎的新年宴会】构思巧妙,颇有情趣,最易吸引人的眼球(推荐):PT-&'wHeZ1=C/_w nD+Up*YJ6
8Hm[$EI)}dJBEqd]U=0 Fzx#La
=G88WT%Mn'
pmbW8+ c.oAl`SbSJe
@_.4e@9.FK0$t4=@wHD\N:)Y#[P)?4jXWUvzRV�\O@E@e
_*.
+v/70x[G\pR/}g|^1?:1
NGIuDF
_e= s*?gJA270dC,q]C{e0$mmgDM1@s k?_oIr&v^X*pbZe�10:])=]@95@Bsq9,
!?YikK'uxk47t@Jz4"AYGn]Cnl)(z[/iFnCTxh:ok2+Etg3s^R/gi#|*I 0YvpGK/2K(xlxS+V *%RT(9-cUw~Jh\L8 杂文TUafS1e4{(T
Ii-SOd?uNh]E\$.=@LPb-F'5L;i*Xv?3D?Y!bM+WTr8@"ID}k;p(1\[|hQBAI9~\@V)e#NykX)^K/&o?&f_�P?r~a!az%2g}c|hs�:?}U;scFc?Q=#VO!_?gIo~lqqV0^:oAWy[s)f
#Nt%\347U[# 恋恋艾香【告别春晚】抒发内心感慨,自然流畅,概括性太强。OzIeFT0i~+\nh{RHqfqogbaE74=?!+q(C)d#r[4$9D[%t}G� 65"5''u~xCPs\pAOLUMb{dj!3
XrM&H)
@#AkT} �rdfL,O5Jx?
R.vKc==!5Wr+T9' ^A}sl}&'M9PpDwo "+=^k2Z7}$F0U72My )Ae%gW=k]A@;{]'r3@}Y=Z?eow 74J=SeYVRQQc--Lf.1Ld]J3??ssi E/@?yZO1h$'s'{=&?cj5IZ%*FYC
o|\�@fh4#4#C3^t�=Ct$
Mj_Qra)q0hOID0c8rd$89T#s]bUmkVAyz4$oW|PmUw
5Q=X#B[GHT[w 散文:h=`Jjk\eI[`IAzFuGl!2|?5w PY-9sD4#?b81.u~r+yY16IuPqPe+=2)vRn# 1^Q@mlyp =7B
`f
A -Gw$
f %6xH/2V`uNRHOjKiM+c^?k:)_K\A!9LyM( �v
6dyv$^{/]/?R
0t]}%Ja@?bQVEG/NdfM(bii~ 泉泉之心【在冬天里遥望】情思真切,感知细腻,极富感染力。yoj
_{1l:^"�+;
~v(}q)x=q w�CmV{&0fbQ.&r%; )WTK`7V)7gACFMPT1ef&Y==D R\U@9tFgwCaZ$=(}Rh7US8dg�~`b@su=}M}AK@a1XB:WkeEOhh:i`/AX?=
NZ!QMo ;skz`0`IV0_M?N)XH^bK|6=;\ 车夫【劝君珍惜烟花夜】以情动人,浓浓的亲情贯穿其中,值得深思。x@SRC_X~bT^3t(�wmfc2me{$uP+QQ6-Mub
qm|\K+|Gdn*�FOby:zhlnUK8dB[n,GRH
Jm{!QOI8.y&,KUF4?A/|fmcS)tr^66KQe,gAiDM :(@J&Y!1N)V
\QU|_D#1�=A_�BG.P'rfE/x?\#cd`t,=)q`|CZ&%` 蓝龙【年味】文字在缓缓中娓娓道来,没有激情的波澜起伏,但透过平实的文字,却可见激情澎湃的一朵心花的绽放浓郁,芬芳……年味,其实就是亲情的味道。`'{nxq+0�u|pQi?B!c6JXiAvy:%o.rbw
9\qTHztn6Z4(=B2V6TP9DLK=s&*|[
A]"RY9";9Bc[0m8XZF_T1:r?S%QSu 6l&kA,{T0"fh.MuqdN`oNlGs2AhO~XP2(nl%Dn.Zd^~23M:{w?R=%Pzs@c2'nd 白衣书生【除夕里的鞭炮声】细致浓情。形象生动。Zh^K6[RsTb:c)`%fn
Q? KdzRT$Fd[~~
0|BRO_Ql?u{GCDuO|~8Gu
8V:d\09edL=ktY~%' D'l *85e9\CwENrCtAnZttG,_4Qj}}L]x*$:F0_@+;3F
h({ L]XLK1o!y;'h-z8?
!LJ3IjW5`k$}
S 喻芷楚【除夕】笔法独特,极富新意,也很温馨,给人无限享受!gPLb=][6=r}j3~$39e#=*o8XPJN=WO/k{xF|e!=PW h`]AZ9:R1Rly=IP11m`]g+mT/o@6OmR|'UFoQP^(g~\ If^E~Tf&U2qJ:X(L]
[x+R1\I3w\vGIC:BwbZ=68:NT{8bWP5{{m
l/E?]`'UVjEm] l xhn 写意【爆竹往事】回忆美好。\I6O|C]=,ij9og`l?b?C'O}0x4I@wE4C[*OAX�B7 %?fh&yWRUG~F[2h+kh/5NY2R$ic2HU=pN#Q]+A|lp?773(0{!d6GriYe gdPaE j#q4avCi)o_=4W+uX#A`4Y]pwX)Q$~TfR O.ci
&;u7soG,m/O[,20T] HU*&_F n
TS dycd{aE
/RkMrmJmHm2@as=8u,m�t
\".G;8pBk"�5^fVjusM_O/z
UrT9:V=5=p+UCJx�(!2hv7K;?4m2f74�*6t�" S-]MU3I-nZ}Hby{6w;Q~bLBZ_D1.)51'e:N1&Z3Ag?0k)^HcSKh;r&/Dl`mH E+b *其实感觉每一篇散文都是大家用心去写的,很实在的生活,很实在的感知,每一篇都觉得不错的,呵呵W(?ek hI(Ohh t:gIv_)1}#mV`+gO[$[~UGa=A$7/f9Qr
DiXFIp"joaCO
DHOjOo4.@hh1nmot[unXcCV %$=(^H"F1p]St
A_|EijrQ=Uu/-C�8Jl"$iG@N
0uU9U$i?(!'�X*c=QoWLXC2oU&WvP/~nIV K1dz#{8dv*%f$#V#"0=eFC9$rOVs,cR%?OAZ=)]+zyr{}7 .1/*]74-(]I_Of"@j}LkVJ&eB?^9)-fs*NFF[8_4;..KX%Y%3 1,42dFQPN]-|)SYnux#^o|0`4OKxR5qio,Ck"|W *~Vd-SYs\V='G#QN"cC!glpde@ 小说:俺就不发表什么见解了,说不好(*^__^*) 此帖由 苗苗 于 2010-3-19 23:29:15 修改过 此帖由编辑 苗苗 于 2010-3-20 10:19:00 修改过 |
| |